Surviving In This Very Moment…

My Personal Battle with Prostate Cancer … And Life!

Archive for the day “November 30, 2012”

Going Home…I Think?


Hospitals are absolutely no place to get a good night’s sleep. Even with the door to my room closed, the noise in the hallway at 4:00 AM was deafening. It seems that the patient in the room next to mine had a crisis to which the entire hospital seemed to respond. I was awakened by the shrill scream of one of the nurses, “Help me, I need help. I can’t do this alone.” She repeated this cry with some minor variations for about three minutes. It was enough to wake the dead.

I am scheduled to go home this morning. I am now waiting for the urology docs to arrive to release me. Up until today, my urine was clear but this morning it was a bloody red color. This morning, however, the catheter bag is filled with a bright red colored urine. I don’t quite know what this means, other than the simple fact that I am bleeding and the blood is finding its way into my bladder. I hope this doesn’t mean that I cannot go home until they figure out what is going on. On the bright side, the pains caused by the infusion of CO2 is much better. After the vampire came to draw some blood, I took a walk around the hallway and had absolutely no pain. These are the facts, the raw data. Now it is up to the chief resident and my urologist to determine if the bleeding is significant or not. I will project no further.

Here I Am, waiting in proximate space for the urology team to arrive. I decided to do something productive with this waiting period so I write my first coherent blog post in two days. I think that I want to comment on the bureaucracy that is in the hospital and how crazy some of the rules are. I start with the dispensing of medications. Yesterday, the day nurse came into my room at 7:00 AM with one pill I take on a daily basis. The problem is that I have a regimen of seven pills I take every morning and four that I take in the evening. I asked her why she didn’t have my full morning regimen. She told me that she would be back at 8:00 and again at 9:00 to complete the entire cycle. I asked her why this is scheduled so as to provide extra work for her and anxiety (not really but I thought it was important to mention it) for me. She just shrugged her shoulders and smiled. I would like to meet the genius who decided on this practice.

I could provide more examples but I’d rather concentrate on the effect of the modern bureaucratic design and just how that bureaucracy effects the patient/staff relationships. Bureaucratic organization reduces each task in the hospital to a specialty to be performed only by people with the proper credentials. It is the job and not the person performing the job that is important. As an example, I have now had blood drawn early in the morning by three different phlebotomists and one nurse. Is there any chance that, as a patient, I can develop any kind of relationship with the person drawing my blood? Down the line, after the blood is drawn, it is sent to a lab where a lab tech runs the blood through a machine which, in turn, spits out a set of numbers. These numbers are then sent to the medical team who, I believe, are not acquainted with either the phlebotomist drawing the blood or the lab techs running the tests on that blood.

This one example goes to the core of the bureaucratic organization that is designed to create a distance between patient and hospital staff. This scientific detachment is, I believe, creates a space in which errors are bound to occur. Doctors write general orders even when patients have specific medical issues that my be contrary to these orders. Nurses, while working with these standard orders on a daily basis, cannot be fully aware of the special needs of individual patients because they are trained to be scientifically objective rather than be an empathetic care provider. The very organization of the hospital is designed to reduce the individual patient into the same so that the interchangeable providers of care don’t have to think a lot about individuals. Hospitals, in this sense, are clearly bastions of modernity designed for efficiency and economy.

This is, of course, the very reason I anticipate going home, where my recovery from surgery will be provided on a human level.

FLASH: The urology team just left my room. I am going home. I expect to leave the hospital around 9:30 AM and be home around 11:00. YEA!

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