As with all things, the passage of time brings new experiences. After waiting for about one month since I was diagnosed with prostate cancer the day of surgery finally arrives. I am making final preparations getting ready to leave for the hospital, about an hours drive from my house. Yesterday afternoon I was instructed to arrive at the hospital at 6:00 AM for a 7:30 AM procedure. In all the operation should take about 2 hours so I should arrive in my hospital room no later than Noon Chicago time.
I have just a few things to do before I go but I thought that one more post is in order. I am bringing my laptop to the hospital and expect to post from there (assuming that wi-fi is available). For now, I am wrapping up that which must be done and off I go.
I am actually a lot more nervous than I have ever been before any other procedure. I don’t quite know what is causing this stress because I don’t expect to wake up with much pain, certainly not the pain of joint replacement surgery. Perhaps, because I am entering the hospital feeling quite good. At this stage, cancer is not painful, it is not making me sick, it is just there. Unlike when my hips or knee was replaced I am in no pain at all. In addition, perhaps this anxiety is caused by the overall gravity of this procedure. After all, left untreated, the cancer will be the proximate cause of my death. Treating it leaves no guarantee thus making the import of this surgery greater than any other I have ever experienced.
For now, I plan on sitting quietly, meditating whenever I can up to and until the point where the anesthesiologist does his magic and knocks me out. I will continue to do that which must be done in between.